Caught in the Undertow

“In order to breath you must come up for air.” ~Iyhia McMichael

I have never been one who has had  constant boyfriends. I typically am in a relationship for a long period of time or I am single for a long period of time. But, during this period of my life, the period of singleness has been a difficult battle. I waver in and out of complacency wandering and imagining the day the Lord will release the man he has for me. With each new spiritual hurdle I overcome, I can not help but to wander if that will be the moment “HE” will come for me. But, year after year, I have found myself looking at singleness square in the face. I can pretend that everything has been ok, but the truth is, I have really hard moments where I cry out and have to depend on the strength of the Lord to see me through. I get frustrated with God because I have all this love to give, but no one to give it to.  I see my friends relish in the excitement of being connected with “The One” and although I am extremely happy for them, I can not help but to wander, “What about me God?” The emotions often remind me of the waves of the sea. Some days I am free and “light” and sailing on top of the waves, but there are other days when I am caught in the undertow of the pain of singleness desperate for air and relief.

“Happiness or sadness or weatlth should not keep anyone from doing God’s work.” (1 Corinthians 7:30 NLT)

In this chapter Paul reminds us that singleness is a blessing from the Lord. When we are single, there is more opportunity for us to be available for the Lord. He reminds us that it is nothing wrong with being married or having a desire to become married, but with marriage becomes more responsibility. A friend of mine reminded me of this verse last week during bible study and it brought the refreshment I needed to “come up for air.” I was reminded that, even though I was married for a short amount of time, it was difficult to fulfill my duties as a wife as well as be all that God wanted and called me to become. So, I am reminded that even though there are times where singleness hurts, it is a blessing to be completely available for all that God has called me to do. I can not want what God can give me more than my relationship with him.  Exodus 34:14 says, “You must worship not other gods, but only the Lord, for he is God who is passionate about his relationship with you” (NLT). Even though he has not given me a man to love, he has surrounded me with beautiful friendships, and through those friendships I am able to extend love as well as receive love.

Reborn. Renewed. Recolored

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