“Don’t let fear suffocate your progression in moving forward.” ~Iyhia McMichael
I am a dreamer by design and I love it. I oftentimes get lost in my own thoughts and visions that I have for myself and others. What I have found is that I love to dream because my thoughts, visions, and feelings are safe. It’s not until they are questioned or forced to speak for themselves that I find myself in fear. Although I have come a long way in my healing process, there are still circumstances that arise that bring about doubt and fear that I have to overcome. During the course of creating RECOLORED, there were so many times, that I would be halted by fear. I would call on my close friends to help me push through. What most people do not know is that the website for RECOLORED was ready weeks before I announced it, but fear kept me from hitting the “publish” button. I would busy myself doing unimportant tasks that inhibited me from dealing with my fear. I was in constant fear that I would fail or the fear of reliving my past over and over again, and I would stop, resting on the fact that-maybe its not time.
2 Timothy 1:7 “For God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (NLT)
Recently, I heard something that provided me the encouragement that I needed. I was watching Oprah’s Masterclass and there was a segment where T.D. Jakes was talking about fear, and he said something that changed my perspective. He said, “we often look at people who are doing something we would like to do and think they have no fear.” For a short period of time, I stopped my pursuits for RECOLORED because I felt as though I had to be completely free of fear before I could move on, but I now understand that I don’t have to be absent from it, I have to push through it. There are times when negative thoughts come and they are laughable, and I can easily move forward and stand on what Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14: …”Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.” (NLT) I love the word “strain” because I can understand the struggle that Paul was talking about, the spiritual tug-of-war that he will follow Christ at all costs. But, even with my best efforts, I will fall short and there are times where all I can say is, Lord, “I do believe, but help me not to doubt.”
What this journey has taught me is to completely surrender to God’s will, and during the course, I will find myself not knowing the answer of the next step, but he is calling me to put all my eggs in God’s basket. When all is said and done, it doesn’t matter if RECOLORED becomes a multi-million dollar company, but more about glorifying his name. So, whether we can easily laugh off the negative thoughts or we find ourselves in a spiritual battle straining to get to God, just remember that his will is always best and is always worth the fight.