Through the eyes of a boy

This particular blog was triggered after watching a old movie called Little Women. Its an oldie but goodie. Watching the dynamic of a struggling family pull through with love, laughter, prayer, and affection is something that is undeniable.

As I was watching that movie a slew of thoughts were running through my mind so much that I knew I had to blog…

One thought that is lingering is the love from a  little boy that God has blessed me with. Sometimes my love for him is so overwhelming that it takes my breath away.

You see I don’t know the full scope of God’s plan with Ian or my life for that matter but I do know that thorugh him he has brought our family the healing that it needs. Through his birth, God has slowly shown how to reconnect  the  meaning of Love that I think we had lost.

We were so stuck in our routine that we let way too much time pass with one anohter. We were in a sprint in this life and we have missed so much because of it.

But, Ian has shown us all how to laugh again. Our house had grown so cold and emotionless and in a sense lifeless. Now, our house has a heartbeat again. We have hope, love, and joy!

We have all learned how to slow down and appreciate what all this life has to offer and we have found that it has a lot more good than bad. Despite the cards that we have been dealt, we have grown.

Sometimes, I sit and think about the days when I moved back home. I use to sit and cry in my room wandering how I was going to make it. I call these my “thunderstom days”. I coundn’t see past the hurt to look for the purpose. My best friend Chelle (whom I am so grateful for) told me from the beginning that Ian was going to help restore our family, and she was right.  God had a purpose, and it was “through the eyes of a boy.”

Now, we have so much joy.  Ian has saved all our lives. He is so much a part of the blessing that we all needed. He has brought us laughter. He has brought us closeness. We sit in the room together with no tension and the house is not completely silent with hidden thoughts, hurts, etc. The silence has been replaced with love.

We have a house that is full of dogs barking, music playing, Ian laughing, toys scattered and the best part about it is..we all don’t care. We have learned the “dont care” about life. That honestly—its ok!!!

Ian is what we all needed. He was formed in my womb for a purpose and although I know  that’s not his only purpose in life but, he is serving his purpose for this season for our entire family.

Through him I have seen hearts melt, walls come down and relationships restored that have been broken and silenced for way too long.

 I can honestly say that my sister is my friend. God!!! I have wanted that for so long. Now, I get sad when she’s not here or when she is gone for just a little while. I wanna be around her, I wanna hang out with her, I wanna know what’s goin on in her life.

The best thing is happening to us!!! We talk throughout the week and she gets excited to tell me things throughout her day. Thank you Jesus!!! This is truly a prayer being answered. It has manifested almost two years later but, as with everything dealing with God, he is always right on time.

The funny thing is, the whole time I was constantly frustrated with God because he wasn’t working in the areas of my life that I felt like he should. I stayed worried, panicked, anxious while all the while he was dealing with a completely different area.  Restoration and Reconciliation of my family!! I was just too blind to see it—its been happening the whole time.

Wow!!! God is good I am learning that is truly what he means in Isaiah when he says that our thoughts are not his thoughts and our ways are not his ways. “We make plans and God laughs.” God had something so much greater in store for me….The gift of Life.

It’s something that is pricesless. The gift of life, love, and joy. I call this my “mostly sunny days” The forecast doesn’t call for too many thunderstorms  for me right now as long as God is my weather man.

Please excuse my uncontrollable joy but the more I type the more I realize that God has been answering my prayers the entire time!!!!  I just have been looking in the wrong place when it is being manifested “Through the eyes of a boy.”

 

 

 

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