Staying in my bubble

It just occurred to me the other day that most of my athletic career I stayed in my own bubble. I saw the same people pretty much everyday. And when I didn’t feel like dealing with people I had the option of being alone. 

As an athlete we stayed sheltered, we are trained for the day ins and outs of how to win and  how to compete. We didn’t have to worry about food, we knew we constantly had someone there looking out and checking up on us. But, who trains us about life?

I remember when I stopped playing softball in  2005 I found myself completely lost. In my mind I knew it was over but I was not prepared for the emotional emptiness that followed. I was constantly grasping for the familiar while it was slowly slipping through my fingertips.

I found myself wanting to be remember and recognized and talked about to confirm that all my training and hard work wouldnt be forgotten. 

My thinking and perception of how things should be was a little off. I knew how to fix things when they went wrong with my swing, I knew the drills I needed to work on to get better angles to the ball. But what I wasn’t prepared for was the day those things would no longer apply to solving problems in my life. My life no longer existed inside the
bubble so I found myself in a constant stubborn battle.

It’s tough out here. Situations aren’t always easily fixable and I’ve realized not everyone is on the same team but I have learned to accept that which I cannot change and keep moving forward.

I long for the college days sometimes so much it hurts. If I could just nestle back into my everyday “athlete” bubble all would be good. The trials and tribulations of an athlete is nothing compared with life outside the bubble.

I played softball for 20 years of my life and I gave it all I had. But now I’m finding that the same energy I put into becoming a great athlete is the same energy I have to put toward life outside the bubble.

You see, to be so far ahead I am so behind. I’m having to learn and understand how to be in successful relationships and have great friendships. Sound wierd? Well, that’s the same way I would think if you came to me about not knowing what its like being an athlete.

So I’m having to play catch up one life experience at a time. It’s definitely not easy but I’m learning.

Even though I’m moving forward doesn’t mean I have to forget the past. It’s prepared me for what I’m suppose to be instead of what I use to be.


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