It has taken me two years to finally go to the doctor and get my foot checked out. Yes, stubborn is my middle name, but I just felt like it would go away. I continued to train, run, and pitch on my foot as though it didn’t hurt. Honestly, the more I worked out on it, the less I felt pain; it was the aftermath that was brutal. But, although it hurt, I refused to allow the pain to stop me from being available for my girls. I took pride in being healthy enough to work out with my girls, to pitch batting practice, and although I hurt every day, I would not allow myself to modify their practice because I was in pain. But, this past fall, I was walking down the stairs and my right foot completely gave out; that is when I decided that I really needed to go see a doctor and get my foot taken care of. For some, going to the doctor may be automatic, but for me, pain, hurt, and “setbacks” are hard for me to endure. In my mind, I (my first mistake) could overcome it all, and the idea of not being able to do something, to me, was almost just as worse as the pain I felt in my foot.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 (NLT)
After a couple of doctor’s trips, an X-Ray, and MRI, it was determined that I needed surgery. I debated over this decision for quite some time. For me, I had to play the entire situation out, and the “cons” (in my mind) far outweighed the “pros.” I had an endless list of all the things I would miss, the medical bills, the idea of not driving, and not being actively engaged with my son. I toyed with the decision up until the day before the surgery, looking for any excuse to say NO. But, what I have realized after my surgery, is that I am still very much a part of my sons life, but now I have a spectators view. I get to fully watch him interact in a way that I did not get to see before because I was so hands on. This past weekend I was able to sit back and watch him play put- put golf with Poppi, and watch him conquer his fears of the water, as he swam the pool. I was thankful God opened my eyes to see my surgery from a different perspective. I have always been one who likes to have it all figured out before I make a decision, but God assures us that everything works out for our good when we put our faith and trust in him; he is our safety net, all we have to do is LET GO.
REBORN. RENEWED. RECOLORED.
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