“Sometimes we have to be un-interruptable in order to love in the overflow.” ~Iyhia McMichael
I realized about two years ago, that my morning quiet times are an essential part of my day that cannot be skipped. It is in those quiet moments that the Lord gives me my instructions for the day, and also allows for me to vent, refresh, and reconnect with the only one in my life that can recharge my spiritual battery. It has been in my early morning meetings that I have been pruned to “throw off your old evil nature and former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a renewal of your thoughts and attitudes” Ephesians 4:22-23 (NLT).
I have learned through the course of these past two years how to better balance this quiet time as a single mother of a very active four year old. In the beginning, I would get up extremely early in order to get my quiet time in (I’m not saying that is not important), but I was not doing this in a healthy way. In my attempts to get up early, I was not getting enough sleep which turned into many days of frustration and irritation. My morning meetings would feel more like a to-do list. I would be reading my bible with my eyes half open, my thoughts were racing out of control, and my heart was unaffected by the word of God. There were many mornings I would leave saying, “What am I doing?” I knew I was called to spend more time with God, but I had no idea how to do this effectively. It appeared as though everyone else in my circle had it down to the T. But, I learned a very important lesson during this trial period that I keep with me. I learned this: I can not be a carbon copy of anybody’s else’s life. I am and will always be a much better and authentic IYHIA MCMICHAEL than I could ever be of anyone else.
I am thankful that I now have the insight to know that my morning meetings are something that I cannot do without, but it has also been a process that I had to teach my four year old son. In the beginning, I would suffer such guilt about not being there to provide for his every need when he would interrupt my quiet time. I would literally beat myself up with thoughts of “you should have gotten up earlier?” or “Everyone else does a better job of balancing than you do” So, I would always stop what I was doing whether that was writing in my journal, reading my bible, or meditation and prayer to attend to his needs because I felt that was my punishment for not getting up earlier. I would find myself carrying that guilt for the rest of the day succumbing to the fact that anything that happened was my punishment. My constant thought would be: “Because I did not get up in time, I do not have the proper tools to deal with this day.” I know this may seem silly, but one of the things the spirit has asked me to do in the launching of Recolored is to be transparent (this is hard to do) but I know this life is not about me.
Through prayer, I have now taken ownership of my morning meetings with the Lord. God has given me the freedom to not be interrupt-able during his time. Moses reminds us in Exodus 34:14 “You must worship no other gods, but only the Lord, for he is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you” (NLT). I know this may sound strange that God would be jealous for us over our own children, and I must admit this was hard for me to grasp too, but I have accepted it as so. The absolute most important thing we can give our children is a love for Christ and the only way we can do that is in the overflow, which stems from our own personal relationship with Christ. Once I understood this concept, I found more freedom during my quiet time. I now am able to say, “not right now, mommy is having her quiet time with God.” I will admit the first time I said it, it was difficult. I had to sit in that space and allow the Holy Spirit to release me from the guilt, but now I have more freedom in those words, and my child appreciates the fruits of my relationship with with God as I pour love right back into him.
I am by no means an expert, I am just a mother who is trying my best to be all I can be for God and love on my child and others in the overflow. I have accepted that each morning my meetings with God may look different than the others and that is ok. Whether I have an hour or ten minutes my heart is locked into that time and its importance is still pivotal for the day at hand. This has been a summer of releasing guilt for me in the area of mothering my son and finding more freedom in Christ, and “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be” Philippians 3: 12 (NLT).
#REBORN #RENEWED #RECOLORED