“Just because it’s tough, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.” ~Iyhia McMichael
It has taken me a while to get adjusted to this new transition in my life; although it has been an opportunity that I have prayed for, I find myself in the midst of frustration once I realize that it is not going in the direction I had envisioned. I become focused on how I want the story to end instead of enjoying the journey that leads to the end.
I found myself last week right in the middle of “doubt.” I felt as though I was not good enough to coach at the collegiate level. I questioned everything that I knew ranging from my coaching experiences from the past to everything I had experienced as a player at the highest level. Last week, I walked away from the office feeling as though I did not belong. It was a tough feeling to endure, but before I could process it, I had to accept it as my truth for the time being.
I noticed in this period of “doubt” I also attached other negative experiences from my past. I reflected on all the other times I felt as though I was not good enough and before I knew it, I was making my past, my truth. It was very difficult for me to pull myself out of the “doubt” pit because all the negative attachments were real events that actually happened. So, how did I overcome it? Thank God for my best friend and my mom. I actually had to talk it out and be honest with myself on where those negative feelings were coming from and replace the negative thoughts with the positive experiences. Yes, those negative events happened in the past, BUT, I had to focus on how I overcame the hurdle instead of focusing on the hurdle itself.
I realized that reflecting on my past was not a bad thing, if I was using it in a way that will help me grow. Once I was able to keep it simple, I was able to start to see the cloud of doubt removed. Through this process, I also realized that I attach unrealistic expectations on myself and then find myself disappointed when they do not work out. As crazy as it seems, I literally felt as though I was going to be able to pick up my life from Texas and move it to Ohio without and hesitations. Sounds crazy right? But, that is exactly how I felt. And when that transition became harder than I thought, I became frustrated and doubtful of my abilities to be successful as well as my discernment to hear God’s voice.
But, since I have been here, I have come to realize that just because it is harder than I thought, does not mean that I am going in the wrong direction. God told me to go, the obedience is in my ability to do what he says and I have to trust that he will provide the next steps as he sees fit. I become frustrated because I expect it all to happen on Day 1. God clearly states in Mathew 6: 34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” My frustration came when I get so focused on how I see my life in the end, that I toss aside what I see as unnecessary steps that will get me to the end, when in reality, those are the steps where God is teaching me the most.
So, as I continue to make footsteps in the new ground that God has set before me, I am learning that with each step brings forth a new lesson and that just because the complete story does not not unfold form the very beginning doesn’t mean I am in the wrong book, it just means that I am reading the wrong chapter.
#REBORN #RENEWED #RECOLORED