Honest Mom

When I look at this picture I can’t help but to feel proud. It made me proud in a way one might not think. I remember this season in Ian’s life like the back of my hand. He endured a tough season of Acceptance, Reality, Frustration, and Growth.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I wanted to venture out of league ball and into a more competitive atmosphere for Ian; which led me to reach out to a friend of mine. Before he directed me to the coaches, he asked (what I thought were very important questions). 1. How competitive do you want you go? 2. How much are you willing to travel? 3. What are you looking for in coaches? 

I didn’t recognize it at the time, but those were valuable questions which all led me to reach out to his current coaches on Facebook to set up a private try-out. I’ll be honest, he didn’t have the best showing, but at the end of his try-out his coach said, “I want him, I can see potential in him.” I’m thankful for that invitation of acceptance because I knew how important it was to release my son into coaches hands who would help develop him and be patient. When I left and was driving down the road, I KNEW that I had found just that.


Ahh and here comes a little dose of reality. We were driving an hour to our first practice and he and I were both a mixture of nerves and excitement; excited to get started, but nervous to see how he matched up.

As practice started the judgment began {I’ll admit it}. How does my child measure up? Is he behind? Can he hang? Can he thrive under the leadership of the coaches? How are the parents? Welcoming? All of those questions and emotions came in to play.

But, the most prominent one for me was REALITY of where my child was in comparison. He was behind and I KNEW IT, but I knew this was where he belonged? Why? Because it showed him a new level of attainment. Unlike league ball, he was not the best player on the field. His sometimes nonchalant approach to practice no longer cut it. In short, HE HAD TO WORK and I loved that! 


Frustration set in for Ian when he learned he was playing catcher. In true Ian fashion {I admit he gets his boldness from me} he was very vocal about his disdain about that position. Here was (in my opinion) a crucial role I played in this situation:
I did not play into his mindset about his role. My stance was this: “Your coaches are going to put you in the best position(s) they feel will help the team. It’s not up to you to decide it’s up to you to do your best.” {Honest to God that’s what I said}. 

Fast Forward to the World Series last summer and the time came for him to SIT THE BENCH. Truth Moment: that was hard, like, very hard. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t angry, upset, sad for him and all those feelings, but I had to take a deep breath {a really deep one} and view it from HONEST EYES. They weren’t picking on him, mad at him, or punishing him. The truth was: he wasn’t very good, his attitude wasn’t the best, and he gave minimal effort. Sooooo, he did not deserve to be the field. THAT’S HONEST (hard to admit) but honest.

What did I do? I had a tough conversation with my son (notice I said my son, not the coaches, not other parents, but MY SON). I told him that he would not get comfortable sitting on the bench. I also told him that he had to get better if he wanted to have a consistent position on the field. The blame was on him with his lack of effort and poor attitude and we would not place the blame on anyone else. So, WE WENT TO WORK TO GET BETTER. When we sign our kids up for something it is also our responsibility as parents to be just as committed. We have to do our part. 

So, we went to work. We worked through tough moments of tears and frustration in the cages and on the field. We worked when it rained, we worked when it was cold, my point is WE WORKED. My hope is that I taught him to look inward before he places blame. I hope that he learned the value of hard work. I also hope that he learned that if he is not in a position where he wants he can have enough self reflection and humility to DO THE WORK.

I’m happy to say that he has grown now and has a consistent position on the team as an outfielder and a consistent bat in the lineup. I hope he is proud of where he started and where he has come because while I was fortunate enough to have a decorated playing career, my son has to create his own path and the only way to do that is -HARD WORK. 


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