In such a time as this, I am reminded to BE STILL. In the past, it was common for me to scroll through Facebook and see how everyone else was having fun while I was immobilized by despair. The more I would scroll, the more I would sink further into feelings of hopelessness. Looking back, it would make sense for me to stop looking at Facebook, but It was easier for me to succumb to loneliness rather than fight through it.
I was depressed by my own circumstances. I was a single mother, divorced, financially strapped, and alone. In my perspective, everyone else was busy doing life with friends, family, and loved ones, while I was alone and living vicariously through them post by post. I remember seeing pictures of couples, engagements, and weddings, and being reminded of what all I had lost.
I learned quickly that holidays were days I had to mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepare for. I would sink down to a state of depression and feelings of loneliness. People would ask what my plans were and I would find myself coming up empty. I had no plans. I had no one to spend my time with. I had no one to make plans with. So what did I do? In typical Type A fashion, I worked. If I didn’t have work, I created work to busy myself as a means to run from my pain. Instead of trying to overcome the despair, I would mask the pain and stay busy much like the story of Martha and Mary.
Luke 10: 41-42 says, “But the Lord said to her, “MY dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her” (NLT).
Much like the story of Martha and Mary I was busying myself concerned about the wrong things. God carved out these holidays not to hurt me, but to use them to connect more intimately with him. He was extending his hand and urging me to trust his direction in coming face to face with my pain. I would cry out to him and trust that he would help me restore my faith and protect my heart. He had a purpose for my pain and it wasn’t until I decided to SIT IN MY PAIN that I was able to come out of my despair and know there was HOPE and a plan far greater than I ever imagined.
This morning, I woke up knowing it was a holiday, and I lay smiling and thanking God for just how far he has brought me in my healing journey. All he has required for me to do on this day is to BE STILL. The enemy was indeed busy trying to reach me before the Lord to remind me that I am alone, that I am single, and that everyone else is making plans and having a good time with out me, but God is so good and so FAITHFUL. What I now know is that the enemy can only tempt me with my past, he does not know my future. My future is held intimately in the palm of God’s hands.
So I proceeded with my day with a joyful resolve and as I scrolled through Facebook, I found myself rejoicing to see my friends spending time with loved ones. Why shouldn’t I be? I smile because they are able to be PRESENT with those around them and make memories with loved ones. I anxiously await to hear of their stories of time spent with family and friends and I know more than anything that I am not alone. I have a HOPE and FUTURE ordained by God.
I hope that whether you find yourself single or married that we all stop and BE STILL and be thankful for whatever season we are in. Love on your family and friends without delay. I encourage the ones who are married to remember their single friends and encourage them in this season and remind them they are not alone. And for those who are single and have feelings of despair, I encourage you to hold on to HOPE and do what Hebrews 12:12-13 calls for us to do, “So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong” (NLT).
You have everything you need right in front of you. I challenge you to create a new normal for your holidays and enjoy this time, lean in to what God wants you to know. BE STILL and have HOPE, your thoughts, emotions, and future is held intimately in the palm of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
REBORN. RENEWED. RECOLORED.